The last confidences of a gentleman

I will start from introduce myself, and that it is very hard… I am Dr. Jekyll and I am Mr. Hyde.

I am two persons in one; I have two bodies, two personalities… I am constantly traveling inside my own mind.

Let’s go to the begging, my era is not like yours, I have to be perfect, I have to do whatever the others expect from me… be different is not a good thing, If you don’t do something because it is too mainstream, well I need to be mainstream… and that is not funny at all!

So I created this… you can say drug that put me in very, very bad trip! I feel nauseas, my body hurts, and am starting to became a different person, like a werewolf, my bone structure change, my face is not my face anymore, my body is not my body and my mind is not my mind. And then I appeared, Mr. Hyde, this horrible, hellish creature that everyone hates… but guess what, everyone has a Mr. Hyde in their hidden corners of their mind, they hate me, but they want to be me… how idiots they are, how stupid they are, how I hate them, how I want to kill them all…

At first I wasn’t afraid of this knew part of me, I actually love this part, I don’t like to admitted but when I traveled to this corners of my mind, I wish never come back anymore.. I was so free, so happy, and I did everything that I wanted to do and didn’t care about the others opinions, But me, I hated this good part, Jekyll loved me, but I hated him, he was my conscious, just to exemplify, in the other night, I had my knife in the neck of this stupid man that looks at me funny, NO ONE LOOKS AT ME LIKE THAT… HOW I HATE HUMAN KIND… and inside my freaking mind, there he was, talking with a low voice, “don’t do it, don’t do it”, and I did, just to make him upset.

I don’t want to belief, that this is really me, that I am this horrible animal, because I cannot say that Hyde, is a human, because it is to upsetting thinking that humans can be like that… so I wanted to quit, but this desire of being him, was too strong, too powerful… and I had to became one more time Mr. Hyde…

I was tired, that he could choose when I came to life, sometimes I just wanted to do something evil, so I became more powerful that he (it was not that difficult), and without previous notice, I start to came alive when I wanted!

I start to lose control, he was too strong to me to handle, I didn’t need the drug to enter in the trip, I start to lose my consciousness, he was building his own personality, oh if you could see into my head, the thoughts he had, they were too terrified, too disgusting… so in my last rest of sanity, I kill myself hoping that he would die with me… I knew what he was planning, but I didn’t care, I don’t care about anything… I just want to do whatever I want to do… if I want get drunk, I will, if I want to kill well I kill, if I want… to live, I will. Jekyll, my stupid, remember that I am stronger than you… 

Published by: Margarida